Contradiction, 1st post

Contradiction

Your feeble words tell me that you’re fine

But your eyes have trouble wearing that mask.

The bags under them have grown darker,

Though you tell me you sleep soundly at night.

Your cracked and bruised knuckles, coated with dried blood,

Show me the truth that cowers behind your words.

You tell me that you’re better.

But my darling you’re as hooked as a heroin addict as he swears it’s the last time and continues to inject his vein with the rusty syringe or the man who swears he’ll just have one drink but by one he means four, and by four he means enough to make him stumble into his house at three a.m. to his wife as she shakes her head and doesn’t even bother to turn on the light or scream or yell or question.

The thin lines are as red and hot as the flames of a brush fire, engulfing your arms and leaving a trail of smoke in hopes that someone will follow it back to you.

Your white scars are the ghosts of your troubles that cracked your armor and snapped your sword.

Please don’t lie to me.

You are thinning away, just like the trees as their leaves fall one by one from their limbs in the beginning of a cold winter, leaving them naked and exposed.

When your smile fades slowly as if it were never real at all.

It tells me that when the sun goes to sleep and the world stops watching, you close your door and lock it.

You sit on the floor with your world of pain that lives in the crevices of your mind and when you push it away and shut the windows and slam the doors, somehow the cold still seeps through the unsealed cracks.

You clutch your hands to you aching heart that has been wrapped in barbed wire.

You part your lips but you can make no sound.

You hold the bottle that will take it all away, you pour them into your hand slowly, one by one and stare at the relief of knowing that there won’t be a tomorrow.

But please don’t give up yet.

My sweet contradiction with eyes that refuse to lie along with your words.

Your hourglass has not been emptied nor your fate been sealed.

Let me hold you. Because I was never good at goodbyes.